destiny will blow me away

there was a moment where i stopped running, slipped, and fell into a puddle of time. held my breath and in an instant weeks had passed. i came to and everything around me was changed. twisted, only resembling what it was lungfuls ago.
old songs are dominating my airwaves and taking my mind with it. i'm back to where i was a few months ago, a few summers ago. "there's things that aren't worth giving up" but i haven't found them in the context of what i'm looking for. my eyes and heart grew tired of watching good ideas come and go, wearing me down. they gave up. my eyelids are heavy with waiting and my chest weighed down with deep breaths. i'm letting you go. one year ago i wasn't anywhere near where i am now, and i know i am free. this is free. when she stops responding and caring, he is out the door in an instant.

at night i close my eyes tight and pray i can write how i used to. i want myself back.