to hell with you and all your friends

this is me dragging my heart around town tied to the back of that car we used to ride around in.
this is me wishing minutes too late on clocks turned hours behind.
i'm just one beat off and one step behind.
i'm kicking myself just to keep up.
slapping my own cheeks red to stay awake and feel alive.

somedays i can bear it. others i simply cannot.
i know its more than this, i know its more than just simplicities and i know all this.
but theres still so much of me that despises you for stringing me along, saying those words i wanted to hear so badly, only to let me fall so hard, and allow me to fall while you ran away.
words falling on deaf ears.
words screaming for blind eyes.

pictures forcing themselves down into my memory, shaking images i've learned to come to love.
it's all a myth. forget what anyone tells you.

oh, how its all so fleeting.

i think thats what i struggle with the most.
turning on a dime. from one day to the next.
one hundred and eighty degree turn.
one night can change everything. they weren't kidding about that.
i just didn't think it was possible..