life can be so simple if we all just learn to pray

im so bitter.
and im so..

these words dont fulfill me anymore. im terrified of going back in time. im so scared of taking off and falling midair. where am i on your radar? can you feel me now?
im tired of being alone and even more tired of being with everyone. im so good at masking things over. when im not laughing i want to cry. im competely bipolar. im exact opposites. i dont know how to feel. i never know whats right.
why cant life be simple? why cant i be normal? why is my mind constantly playing tug-of-war with my body and my emotions and my feelings, until i just don't know?
i just wish for one day i could leave myself. i understand now how you felt. if i was half of what i am today, i would still be a mess.
i think too much and i say too much and i feel too much and i care too much. i dont express enough and im not good enough and im not smart enough and im not pretty enough. im mediocre where i shouldn't be and i've got plenty of what i shouldn't.

do you really want me?