there's a hole where something was

i've fallen out of writing. i've lost touch with the way words came easily, the way i could make my feelings turn from emotion into threads of thought and word, entangled together.

when i look back, i miss the ease of hiding what i felt so strongly, even to myself. i look back, and don't even know exactly what i was experiencing. it's amazing the way i can't remember something that could make me write poison.

blah. i lost my train of thought. i feel too distracted these days to ever really finish anything. journals, books, conversations. everything seems too long to start. too complicated to get involved in.

oh well. goodnight.