a shining light for you

i'm nostalgic for summer. in the ways i don't want to see it part. i am sad for days gone of waking up and joining eighty people i love. of having no agenda at nights. of moments of sun touching the world. of rainstorms that roar for attention, where you get soaked in one drop. of laughter and pureness, of innocence, tennis, swimming. trampolines and grass.

i let it go. i didn't hold onto every second. i didn't embrace every passing moment. it slid through my fingers before i remembered to grasp on. i'm left with two weeks and a head full of memories. wishes for another month. tears in the past, and tinges of regret over missing links. void of music but full of wiffleball in parking lots, skipping out on office work for hours of sliding through shaving cream, water, and mud. trade in something live for something from years back. wholesome songs. friends over summers and friends for all of time. it was a fair trade, and my heart is left reeling.

july is the reason i live. for a higher purpose, for feelings of contentment, completion, 'ungainfulness'. dancing under hand strung stars in ridiculous fashions. conversations of literally or figuratively. standing agasp of hometown celebrities and laughter tracing the air.

this is something i never want to see die.