im so tired of days that feel like the night

im exhausted with falling asleep alone. without fingers beside mine, without hands on me. without hair being pushed back and lips met. legs crossed and thoughts entwined. phrases completed and stories to share. 'how are you' versus 'i know you.' i want to tell the same stories over and over and have them smiled back at me. i want to see myself in eyes that are pleased to see me too. i want to be so self centered to the point im only centered on you. i want my other half.

songs on the air outside and a breeze being tossed back and forth between trees, windows, and fans only make me long for a place i never existed. i want to be somewhere i feel i belong, when in actuality i havent any idea. im making plans for months down the road when i dont even know my current state of heart. of location. of mind. of feeling.

old songs bring back so many memories. you have the words to mould me; i am your clay. i am everything you ever wanted. i dont lie, im absurdly honest. and it shocks me. you know more about me than anyone else.

i want to full heartedly give you my heart. i just wish you werent taking it so far.