and i can stay between the covers

i feel like the ultimate hassle.
permission to come home a day late resulted in conflicts on both sides of the phone. 'i miss you's and 'come home now's were exchanged as common as the breath through our mouths. but how far did that get me? how far did that get you? an hour here and there, not enough time to talk on the phone, and tears welling up in eyes. i want to be home but i want to be home if you will appreciate me. i want to spend time with you more than you can imagine, and now im competeing with an unknown enemy for your attention.
less than fourty eight hours and one broken heart later, and im back to how i was months ago. i just want to be with you, and i just want to spend time with you. i feel as if this is asking too much.
i hate coming back to changed feelings and statuses.. fighting with best friends over sizes and prices. who has the best quality and who doesn't care. im tired of you flaunting things that mean nothing to me, and im sick of you pretending to mean so much more. cant you see you mean the world? cant you see you own my heart? im so tired of trying to convince you its okay to relax, because i never had to do it before. i hate distance and i hate it more when its between us.

there isnt enough time for me to talk to anyone. phone calls didnt cut it, and plans fell through. who is the one feeling guilty now? who is the only one who feels guilty?

im sick of small rivers connecting the corners of my eyes to my mouth. im tired of the flavour of salt and the taste of pain. a few more months and this will be my life. its something i dread and something i long for.

i just want one year to connect to another. im sick of jolts and non-continuity.