flashbacks and throwbacks

im infatuated. i am.
its scary.
you scare me. in the best way possible.
in such a good way i want more.

im so lost.
im out of control, im throwing around desires and infatuations like its my job.
i can count on my two hands, and it should be down to one.
this isnt okay.

but i am just who i am.
we all know that and expect it.

right?

i feel alive.
i feel so at home.
i feel so happy, like this is what ive been waiting for my entire life.
in cars and laughter and windows down, music.
nostalgic for these times.
ice cream on cold nights, banter, surrounded by friends.
texting to make plans for the next night.
too many ideas, too little time.

this is what i want.